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Before you start, you should know, that in order to view all of the most recent additions, you need to click on the october archive or be using a blog viewing program that supports backlogs. Enjoy!

I just came home at 5am again. I must be in better shape than I thought to do so much going out.

We're going to try this "Terrentino" crap for the first time today. This is what the guy said to me. "Maybe one, but not all three." (This isn't as funny as the Dane version of QT-style, but a literary genius-in-training, such as myself needs to practice all forms of written communication.) "Maybe one, but not all three."

I left my apartment this afternoon in one of my less-nice pairs of jeans, dirty tennis shoes and a hoody. I went to buy a gift for someone in the trainee pool whose birthday is monday. We have been buying gifts for everyone as a group. All of the girls were at a SWE conference, so I was nominated to buy the gift. Anyway, I was dressed to go out and do a little shopping, be comfortable and such. I met a couple of buddies who helped me find the gift. We did our other errands, I bought two belts (reversable ones are pieces of shit), two 470pF Kondensatoren, an S-video cable, solder, a soldering iron, a little screw driver, and a tiny-ass project box. Then we all went and had our dinners. One of the guys went home and made himself dinner. The other guy and I went to Subway. Subway is the only place I have found where I can buy mountain dew. So I bought a liter of mountain dew. It cost be approximately 4 Euros, but I got Subway stamps, biatches. After dinner, we watched Anchorman at one of the guys' apartments. But you know what they say... "When in Rome..." Actually, I still don't know what that means.

So after the movie, one of the guys just wanted to go to bed because sometimes he is a bum. He acts like he's fifty. The other guy and I convinced him to go out, have a drink and just chill with us for a while. We met another friend, then went out to Cafe & Bar Celona. (Read it outloud and you'll probably understand the brilliance of the name.) A few of our friends where there already, but as soon as we ordered drinks, they left. The french guy went over and tried to talk to 3 girls at a different table for him, the brazilian and the other american. Anyway, the guys decided the girls weren't what they were looking for, so we left and tried to go to another bar where we could just sit and have a drink or two. We walked to another bar and when we tried to go in, I was stopped. The guy said a whole string of shit to me in German as he pointed at my feet and my legs and so on and so on. I understood only the part where he said "tennis shoes". I just looked at him blankly for a moment then replied in German, "I only understood 'something about my dirty tennis shoes.' You do not allow tennis shoes, right?" In brilliant English, the bouncer replied, quite matter-of-factly "It is not that you are wearing tennis shoes, but they are dirty and jeans are ok, but only when they fit you better, not so baggy, and hooded sweatshirts are also not liked unless they also fit you better. These things are not ok. Maybe one, but not all three."

So my friends laughed at me for the next 20 minutes as we walked to the next Irish pub for a beer. That pub was closed too, so we went to the club where our other friends were, even though from the start, we didn't want to go dancing. I don't know what time we got there, but I wound up leaving about 4. We probably got there at 3 or something, I guess. Then several of us walked to the train station and tried to catch the train, but we just missed it. We went back to try to get some food for the drunk girl. We wound up running back to the train station so we could just barely make the next train.

Fabelhaft!

BTW - if you have questions regarding any of the Deutsch worter that wind up here, use this translator, its very good. LEO German/English translator There is so much crap there. There are even links to this site called "Canoo" which I think will teach you more grammar than you learned between kindergarten and high school. English and German grammar.

Watching the weather channel (or International Weather on CNN International, which is exactly the same) always makes me feel like I am in a hotel, not matter where I am. That is a ridiculous association.

I was watching CNN International Edition this morning and one of the tickers read something like "State of emergency declared and curfew established in US city of Toledo." Thats where I'm from! I kinda started freaking out, so I called home, even though it was like 630am and I was sure my parents where probably sleeping. But at this point, I thought it could have been equally possible that they were dead. They were not dead. Apparently some neo-nazis got the right to have a demonstration in a certain part of toledo. The gangs and the people in the area told them, "We'll let you do your thing because its legal, but if you step outside of your boundaries, if you try to start something, we'll finish it". I am reading my paper now to see if thats what happened or if people just got pissed off at each other for their ignorance/enlightenment.

So after reading the paper, apparently the nazi march was cancelled before it started because so many protesters showed up and just threw rocks and bottles at police. That sucks. Nazis are fuck-heads.

One of the articles on the incident.

Someone named Gaintner said it has been too long since I have posted. My lack of posts does not indicate that I have not been keeping up to date on your blogs. Nay. I have been keeping up on all of your lushus blogations. I apologize for my lack of blogging. I blame it on the work and on the party-making. (Thats what the german's call it when they go to the club/diskotek, "making party" Germans are funny. And party animals.) For the second weekend in a row, I stayed out until 6am. Actually, last weekend, I got home at 7, but that means I stayed out past 6 too. I don't know what the hell the deal is. I don't dance well. Hell, I don't even like to dance. I just like to drink. I think I made mention in one of the backlogs that you will later read, that last weekend I drank much redbull to stay up all morning. Today, I stayed up all night ohne redbull. Then I had most of a doener. That was pretty shitty. I used to like Doeners, now I hate them. In case you weren't aware, doener are THE german drunk food. You can't go to Denny's in the middle of the night, but you can go to a doener store after every third bar.

[Damn, I think I was drunk. A doener, for the unenlightened, is a pita with some cabbage and some lamb or beef or chicken and some cucumber and some sauce and maybe some tomatoes or something. And what I meant by "after every third bar" was that as you walk down the street, you will pass three bars, then there will be a doener place, three bars then a doener place.]

Anyway, I am actually quite exausted. I am no longer intoxicated [haha...i think i was wrong], but I am sleepy, so I will try to post this and the last several backlogs tomorrow. I hope you all have a wonderful day and leave me lots of nice messages. Or at least read the backlogs and say...damn, I used to know Kyle back before he was....well, when he was LESS of a loser. Make sure you say it. If you just think it, it doesn't count.

[this I wrote the next day, after sobering up, but with a pounding headache.]
Spongebob square pants does not change quality when you cannot understand what anyone is saying. I mean that in both the best and worst way possible.

It bothers me that in Germany, TV channels announce that what you are about to watch is a commercial. Its not like its hard to figure out that the barbie commercial is no longer part of spongebob squarepants. Speaking of commercials... I just saw my next large investment. Hot wheels makes something called Gorilla Attack. That Werbung made me want a Hot Wheels play set, but holy crap I really want this one. Its so awesome. The gorilla tries to smash your car, you can try to shoot missiles at the gorilla, there's other freakin awesome stuff, too.

The men who play darts may be classic bar junkies, but at least they don't have to wear the goofy shit that pool players do. These snooker guys look like they came from a high school prom. I have to admit, it is ridiculously impressive the way these guys can bounce the cue ball off of two or three bumpers before hitting the ball they are aiming at. That is impressive. Ebenso, I can understand watching billiards on TV when you are bored silly or its the middle of the night and nothing else is on or you want to play a really difficult drinking game, but how lame are the lives of these people (not related to the players) who are in the crowd watching this live. Can you imagine going to the ticket office and buying a ticket knowing that you're going to watch pool? G'lurd.

I'm not making a new entry for this, even though it happened tomorrow, but whoever said that men can't multitask was a liar (and probably a feminist). [stereotyping is fun! That doesn't mean typing with both a left and a right hand, but it probably should.] I cut my toenails and brushed my teeth at the same time tomorrow morning.

Au revoir.

I'm watching flippin' darts on the TV. People are cheering like freaking crazy. What the hell? Its fuckin darts. Its a damned bar sport. I understand when they're on TV. I like watching pool cause some of those guys can do some crazy shit, but the audience is always quiet. Why so much yelling for darts???

My uncle's birthday may be today. Or sometime this last week or next week. I know its in October, anyway. Maybe I should email him.

Best yellow pages commercial ever...
This guy and girl are sitting across from each other in a hottub and they have glasses of champagne. The dude farts and a huge bubble comes up so the lady makes a grossed out expression and you see her leaving the hotel room. The guy opens the yellow pages and picks up the phone and then the scene cuts back to him sitting in the tub with a different girl and glasses of champagne. I would have been satisfied with the commercial there, but then he makes this face and turns the jets on and smiles at the girl.

That would never work because farts in a tub full of hot water are the stinkiest things EVER. I have nearly knocked myself out in the tub that way.

The best thing about the darts is that every one of the competitors (there are several matches going on simultaneously), every competitor (are they called 'players' in darts?) every one of the players has the same exact middle-aged, balding, large (w/ beer gut option) build and they are all wearing hawaiian shirts.

The fat man with a beard wearing the shirt with the flamingos, not the fat man with the mustache wearing the shirt with the mermaids and those hawaiian flowers, just got three triple 20s in one turn. That's damned good. Even for professionals.

I fuckin love carrots.

The sad thing is, these obese, poorly dressed men probably have better basic arithmatic skills than I do. Or at least with multiplication up to 3 and using the numbers up to 20. Crazy, drunken bastards.

Germany is a whole different world. Several of us went to a club last night to drink and to dance a little, but mostly to drink. The party lasted alllll night long. I may have mentioned this before, but clubs don't close as early as they do in the places I have been in the states. Last night, my friend said they kicked him out at 6am. I, and most of the others, had already left by that time. I left at about 5:30 or so. My drink of choice was red bull and vodka. I had too many. There wasn't much alcohol, but I had too much redbull, as is evidenced by the fact that I was there until 530am and by my trip home. Its usually about a 10-13 minute train ride home for me, but when I got to the train platform, there was a ten minute wait so I decided to start walking. I walked three train stops but I still had a lot of energy, so I ran the last 4 or 5 home. It was actually quite a long way. I was surprised not only that I had the energy to do it, but that I could do it at all. When I finally got home at 7am, I was going to stay up and photograph the sunrise, but I went to sleep because I had to get up in 3 and a half hours and be awake all day.

Today I met my friend's friend who is helping three of us find apartments in Hannover. I hope I can find a good one where I can put in a darkroom. That would make me extremely happy. Yesterday, I went shopping and I also found a huuuuge art store where I can find some things for my photography and for other art hobbies. I may decide to start painting in the future too. That would be fun.

Some days I am capable of being extremely paranoid and drastic and making myself feel like shit. Today, I woke up and looked up at the cieling. I noticed several black spots in my vision and I then let my imagination run wild. I started to imagine that I was going blind. I didn't just imagine it, I half believed it. I guess it is one of my fears. I have thought about it before, in great depth, much like today, that I will lose my vision. I imagined that, but then I imagined a lot after that. I imagined some of the important things that I would lose. I, of course, thought about all the people who I would never see again, quite literally. Sure, my friends may not all be absolutely beautiful, but today, it made me extreeeemely sad to think that I would never again see even the ugly ones. Then I started to think about all the things that I love to do that I would never again be able to do. I imagined the use of computer for communicating with my friends, the use of my ipod to listen to music, the use of my vision to drive to visit people. I actually even started to imagine writing a letter to iPod asking them to add an audio-menu feature so that I could still navigate around my ipod to hear music.

It is beautiful outside today. I am going to go out and enjoy the sun and the weather.

I love wienerschnitzel. Yum yum yum. It tastes so good. Yum.

Sometimes one of them reminds me of one of you, but they're not. On these days, I have the most difficult time.

Sometimes I feel so empowered to change the company, to change the department, to change the team, or at least to change myself.

Sometimes I realize how far-fetched that is.

Sometimes I realize how realistic that is.

Sometimes I miss Kraft Cheese and Macaroni.

Sometimes the people on the train amuse me with their facial expressions or their attire or their disposition.

Sometimes I realize that I amuse them.

Sometimes I just want my mommy. I can't lie, its true.

Manchmal kommt mir deutsch einfach.

Speak sometimes eVen kant i. engl|sch eaven

Sometimes my sofa-bed breaks.

Sometimes I am hungry for life.

Sometimes I am tired.

Sometimes I am energetic.

Sometimes all I want to do is listen to Modest Mouse and Ted Leo and the Pharmacists.

I came home today and ate a head of lettuce. Nay, I devoured a head of lettuce. I ate it like a fucking rabbit. A sanitary rabbit who washes his lettuce in the sink before shoving the whole leaves into his mouth, 3 inches at a time, breaking it with his teeth like a... like a rabbit.

This is how I sat on my couch and ate an entire head of lettuce. I didn't use salad dressing, I didn't even use a fork. And it was soooo good. I almost ate the whole thing over the sink in 3 minutes.

I'm glad that our founding fathers had the good foresight to declare our independence during the warm, sunny month of July. I don't know what Gorbachov was thinking unifying Germany in October. Its not the worst weather that we'll have, I'm sure, but it sure as hell isn't summer anymore.

I'm still glad I had the day off! I cleaned my apartment. It was glorious. I probably won't even feel at home when I return because I cleaned it so thoroughly. I'm going anyway.

Sehr geehrte Deutchland,

Just because you are barring them from clubs instead of sending them to the gas-chamber doesn't mean that it is ok to be racist. I know that you are all upset because of the high levels of unemployment and you want to make sure that Germans have jobs. Economic distress is what led you to kill the Jews too.

Sincerely,
Pissed-off-at-Germany

I feel soo lucky, as I have mentioned before, because I have the opportunity to meet so many people from all over the world. I got really pissed off again last night when we tried to go to a club and they wouldn't let my friend in because he is of Arabic decent. He is french, but his parents are from Morocco. The same thing happens to my Brazilian friend as well. Last night, what happened was, several of us were at a club and another group came to meet us there. They wouldn't let the second group in because they were 'led' by this guy who was not white. Those of us already in the club decided to leave. I wanted to pee on the bouncers shoes as we left because I had to relieve myself, but I decided that would be a bad idea.

AAAAHHHHHH. SO MUCH ANGER AT RACIST PEOPLE!

But I do love my new digital camera. :-D

Subway is EXACTLY the same here as it is in the US except for 4 things. In Germany: you can get Fanta, the Lay's potato chips say Walker's instead, your sandwich length options are 15cm or 30cm, and the trash cans say "Danke". I'll just focus on each of these a little bit. If it were not for these things and the German in the air, I would think I were in the United States at Subway. I do, however, love Fanta, so that makes me happy to be here. The potato chip bags look identical. The logo is the same, the design is the same, but they write "Walker's" instead of "Lay's" on the bag. I feel like I am getting less for my money because a centimeter is less than an inch. Much less. The interior designing of the Subway is the same as it is in the United States. They have all the same pictures of vegetables hanging on walls covered in yellow NYC subway wallpaper with the same colored tile floors and trim board and tables and trash cans. Except the trash cans say Danke.

This is the stupidest blog entry I have written in a LOOOOOONG time.

I am watching a German show about animals and it is making me angry. They just showed some cartoons of Elephants and they showed them drinking through their trunk and one even sucked an apple through its trunk. You may not be aware of this, but the elephant's trunk is not a really long mouth like the ant-eater, it is its nose. Elephants do not eat through their nose. Elephants also do not drink water through their nose. They have been known to suck up water in their nose and spray it on themselves, but their trunk is not their freakin mouth!