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HOLY SHIT!???
Facebook has a new look. Its RSS-feed style. I came across this one while I was browsing my feeds and freaked out! When the hell did I get engaged? Then I rememebered I have a facebook friend named Kyle Schroeder. Apparently, he skipped that sketchy "dating" middle ground.

While I'm here, I'd like to comment that the new facebook feed thing is not so great. I don't really need to know every time Dana makes a new friend or every time Katie's taste in music or movies changes. I do, however, like the facebook aversion to relationships. "____ is single!" has a heart next to it and "_____ is no longer single." has two pieces of a heart next to it.

An update about a friend who adds a new friend whom I don't know is not useful to me. Finding out that a friend added another one of my friends could be cool. Even cooler would be seeing when people break off their friendships. I would subscribe to the global feed of that.... because it's bullshit.

Not long ago, a person I know was going after a girl. And the girl liked him but had a boyfriend. So she made him keep his distance to "Extremely good friends who did everything together including sleeping". This guy would tell me about 2x a week that their status changed. Never were they 'together' but he would tell me in a very, very serious face, "I had the worst day of my life. Katie and I aren't friends anymore." The first day, this was kinda sad. As much because their 'friendship' is one that seems to be at a 3rd grade level involving the exchange of lollipops and blowjobs for the title of 'friend' and also because he was really sad. When he told me the next day, extremely excited, that they were friends again and it was the best day of his life, I found it extremely hard to keep a straight face. I told him the laughing was because I was sooooo excited for him. When it continued like that for a couple weeks, I really struggled. Seeing a list of 'cancelled' and 'renewed' "friendships" on facebook would be hilarious to me.

Then they can add the supplement to the relationship basis. You know how when you add a friend, they ask you how you know the person? Then when you end your friendship, you can say things like 'I caught _____ giving ______ to ______." Or, "_______ cheated at backyard football. He rushed after only 3 seconds. OUR FRIENDSHIP IS OVER, _______!"

Then! You could choose the duration of the fight. "I would like to end my friendship with _____ for ___ (hours/days/weeks/months/years/until they give me back my _____/until they say ______ on my wall/...)."

Sometimes people are so childish....