Thursday, January 05, 2006
Contemplapoint (in production)
"When you die, they make a list of every love you never kissed, of each regret, of each mistake, of every choice you failed to make" (Next Time)
Whoa. I sought out this lyric for another reason, but upon rereading it, it seems to be incredibly pertinent to me right now.
In reality, I'm not certain what the connection was to this lyric, but let me tell you a story. You may want to get a snack.
Today, I was looking through some of my 'old things'. These 'old things' are basically everything that I decided not to haul in my two suitcases and carryon when I moved to Germany with me about 4 and a half months ago. One of the things I found was a set of photos from when I worked at Kimball Camp. I always thought they should spell Camp with a K at that camp. Anyway, I found the pictures from what I thought was for certain my last year as a counselor at Kimball Kamp. I wound up coming back the next year, or perhaps it was two years later, I think, but anyway... I've got these pictures. In looking at these pictures, a lot of memories surfaced which have long ago been piled upon with other memories. One of the memories came when I looked at a particular picture that was extremely poorly focused. That year, there was a girl who worked at the camp who came from Australia. She was a year or so older than I was and she was kind of cute. I don't know if she is still kind of cute, but she is still a year or so older than I am. Anyway, I just remember when it came to girls, I was a total klutz, completely niave, and otherwise unfit to be in their presence. One night, she and I went for a walk and well, knowing what I know now, I'm pretty sure she wanted to take our friendship to a more physical level.
I told you you should have gotten a snack.
I guess this memory just makes me greatful for my timely niavity. I think that I would have made a wise decision regarding the correspondence of our personal attraction and the physical 'activities' that we may have endevoured upon. It sure as hell helped that I didn't even see that 'open door'. "..and lead us not into temptation." Hmm... I guess God had probably been helping me out with that one. It has happened on more than one occasion, too. I shan't name too many details of the other opportunity because, well, some of you may know who the person is. Anyway, there was a time when a girl came to my room and started telling me she was extremely homesick and that she missed home and so on. I thought she was really homesick, so I paused my game of Diablo II (She must have been really homesick[English adj. here: desperate]...) and I turned around to console her. Later, I learned what homesick meant. Or, I realized that there are completely different ways to console a homesick individual than I had ever realized.
So in one of those cases, I think the girl really did have a personal attraction to me. In the other, I'm pretty sure she just wanted to be 'consoled' deep on the inside. I wonder if there has ever been a case where I was attracted to someone and they just totally didn't get it...? [There should be a better puncuation mark to end a sentence that begins "I wonder...". A period just doesn't cut it. Sorry period, but you are a little too multi-purpose for my desires. I need a mark with the power of the exclamation point, but which intuitively provokes wonder instead of excitement. Maybe a contemplapoint.] I think there probably has not been. I'm rather low-context most of the time and I think that this is a case where I am extremely low-context, so it's probably never happened.
In related news: I need to listen to more Barenaked Ladies. The band. As discussed above, the other kind is nothing but trouble. Or, I think. I guess I didn't really bring up, address, or, much less, seal that argument...
Whoa. I sought out this lyric for another reason, but upon rereading it, it seems to be incredibly pertinent to me right now.
In reality, I'm not certain what the connection was to this lyric, but let me tell you a story. You may want to get a snack.
Today, I was looking through some of my 'old things'. These 'old things' are basically everything that I decided not to haul in my two suitcases and carryon when I moved to Germany with me about 4 and a half months ago. One of the things I found was a set of photos from when I worked at Kimball Camp. I always thought they should spell Camp with a K at that camp. Anyway, I found the pictures from what I thought was for certain my last year as a counselor at Kimball Kamp. I wound up coming back the next year, or perhaps it was two years later, I think, but anyway... I've got these pictures. In looking at these pictures, a lot of memories surfaced which have long ago been piled upon with other memories. One of the memories came when I looked at a particular picture that was extremely poorly focused. That year, there was a girl who worked at the camp who came from Australia. She was a year or so older than I was and she was kind of cute. I don't know if she is still kind of cute, but she is still a year or so older than I am. Anyway, I just remember when it came to girls, I was a total klutz, completely niave, and otherwise unfit to be in their presence. One night, she and I went for a walk and well, knowing what I know now, I'm pretty sure she wanted to take our friendship to a more physical level.
I told you you should have gotten a snack.
I guess this memory just makes me greatful for my timely niavity. I think that I would have made a wise decision regarding the correspondence of our personal attraction and the physical 'activities' that we may have endevoured upon. It sure as hell helped that I didn't even see that 'open door'. "..and lead us not into temptation." Hmm... I guess God had probably been helping me out with that one. It has happened on more than one occasion, too. I shan't name too many details of the other opportunity because, well, some of you may know who the person is. Anyway, there was a time when a girl came to my room and started telling me she was extremely homesick and that she missed home and so on. I thought she was really homesick, so I paused my game of Diablo II (She must have been really homesick[English adj. here: desperate]...) and I turned around to console her. Later, I learned what homesick meant. Or, I realized that there are completely different ways to console a homesick individual than I had ever realized.
So in one of those cases, I think the girl really did have a personal attraction to me. In the other, I'm pretty sure she just wanted to be 'consoled' deep on the inside. I wonder if there has ever been a case where I was attracted to someone and they just totally didn't get it...? [There should be a better puncuation mark to end a sentence that begins "I wonder...". A period just doesn't cut it. Sorry period, but you are a little too multi-purpose for my desires. I need a mark with the power of the exclamation point, but which intuitively provokes wonder instead of excitement. Maybe a contemplapoint.] I think there probably has not been. I'm rather low-context most of the time and I think that this is a case where I am extremely low-context, so it's probably never happened.
In related news: I need to listen to more Barenaked Ladies. The band. As discussed above, the other kind is nothing but trouble. Or, I think. I guess I didn't really bring up, address, or, much less, seal that argument...
Monday, January 02, 2006
It's been good to be home. I got home the thursday before Christmas and I leave this Friday, the 6th of January. I'm sorry for not visiting all of the people here in the states.
I'm ready to go back, but I'm not at the same time.
I hope my parents can come visit me sometime in the near future. It would also be great if any of my friends came to visit. Europe is a fun place to be, we would have a good time. I know I did when Alex came to visit.
Break has really lulled my desire to write here. It seems to for many other people as well.
Have a great day.
I'm ready to go back, but I'm not at the same time.
I hope my parents can come visit me sometime in the near future. It would also be great if any of my friends came to visit. Europe is a fun place to be, we would have a good time. I know I did when Alex came to visit.
Break has really lulled my desire to write here. It seems to for many other people as well.
Have a great day.
